I always consider myself very fortunate to have met my husband. I love the man to bits.
After almost 10 years, I think we have found a perfect balance in our relationship.
The initial honeymoon years were great. However, when we got to the middle, where we had to juggle career and young kids, we felt a little stretched and stressed. When we moved back to SG, it took us almost 2 years to feel settled and happy.
Fours years on, it's safe to say that we are in a good place right now.
What I've learnt from the last couple of years are
- Laugh - Seriously! At anything! I kid that only we would understand the moronic humour we share. He laughs at some of the dumbest things that ever came out of my mouth.
- Go on dates - Now that our kids are older, we get to go out more. My parents babysit a few evenings a week. So we grab the chance to catch a movie, go for a nice dinner, work out, have dinners/coffees with friends. You would know that we go away once or twice a year too, just to have a breather from the kids
- Compliment each other - Everyone likes to be told they look nice or did something awesome. D is good at that. He's always the biggest fan of my cooking. And whenever we go out on dates, he would tell me I look pretty or I'm wearing a gorgeous dress. I usually tell him I appreciate the things he does for me.
- Fight! (and then make up!) - Yes, you've read right. I'm quite a chilli padi. Or at least that's what I've been told. When I'm not happy about something, oh you can be sure the whole world would know about it. When I was younger, I used to hold grudges after a fight. Oh those cold wars could go on for days. I'm not sure if it's because I'm older but I still tell the man, the way I see things. Angry words could be exchanged. The difference is, we will always almost make up immediately after as well. I guess we don't wanna waste time being angry these days.
- Let the small things go - Sometimes things don't go according to plan. I used to get angsty when that happened. Now I've learnt to curb my tongue and be flexible.
- Co parent - Parenting is a lifelong journey. I've always wanted an involved husband. D is very good with the kids. If I'm ever not available, he's always ready to step up to the plate. He's knows their schedule and he knows what to feed them. I never worry when they are with him. We discuss and make parenting decisions together. He doesn't question the classes I send the kids to, cause he trusts that I've done my research. It's a good balance.
- Go out with friends - Both together and separately. We have a group of good friends we hang out often with. But we also do have separate friends that we enjoy their company too. D goes out for drinks with his boys sometimes. I go for lunches or shopping with my girlfriends. It's so good for our souls.
- Respect - This comes in many forms. We don't check each other's phones. We don't throw anything out without asking the other person. We don't track each other's movements during the day. It's small things that makes up the trust we have for each other.
- Spouse First, then Kids - I guess this has been preached enough. It's true that when you love your spouse first, the love will transcend down to the kids. =) I cannot tell you how true it is. But when you feel valued, you will have love overflowing to your kids. *cross my heart*