Monday, February 20, 2012

I am (NO) Super mom

I am having what I define - Enrichment Fatique.

All that running around for the after school classes has left me feeling rather ill last week. So much so that I had to call off their swimming lessons on Sunday because we *just* needed that morning to sleep and do nothing.

3 kids is work. No kidding.

3 school going kids is just more work.

Whilst I love that the kids have a varied exposure to different aspects of life in their childhood, I must admit that being the sole parent who ferries, follows up on school work + enrichment work, reading, cooking and discipling for every weekday. Each day runs a pretty packed schedule from the time the alarm clocks rings.

Just tonight, the husband and I had a disagreement on whether the boy should sit for his violin grading exam. After noticing that I am having a hard time with his practice sessions at home and his reluctance to keep refining his pieces, it was clear that he wasn't having a great time with his lessons.

However, with a month to go, and all the scales and pieces learnt, I find that it's a shame to just call it a day. The husband, on the other hand, thinks that it's just too much pressure for the boy to cope.

I'd mentioned that kids need to learn the value of hard work. Not everything in life is fun or easy. The reason he has been scoring pretty well in school, is because I have been working really hard with him in his studies. Surely the gratification of getting perfect scores doesn't come from being fun or smart, it's consistent work at home and in school.

Needless to say, we agree to disagree.

I don't think parenting gets any easier as the kids get older. Every stage of our children's life presents different propositions.

I'm not the kind of mother that worries what the future brings. I'm more concerned about what my kids can bring to their future. It's all about the right attitude to coping with the different things in life.

In my books, it's never about perfect scoring. It's about the earnestness to want to be better. And to be kind and helpful in society and family.

My take is work hard and work smart. Nothing comes easy without putting in the effort. Also, be street smart. What's the point of being academic but yet not cope in a social environment.

Thankfully, the kids never had an issue socializing with new crowds and they love making new friends.

All I need to do is to balance the scales of play, work and free time for these kids and me.

So, my prayer tonight is just simply for the Lord to give me strength and a whole ton of patience to be a better momma for another day.


  1. Totally agree with you about having the right attitude and to be street smart!

    I also want to see that the Nats put in effort and even if he doesn't do well, I want to see that he tries.

    (Still young for meimei but I hope she can see and learn from gorgor)

    It's not an easy job and you are doing great, I think. Press on. The rewards and satisfaction you get, no one can understand. :)

  2. i have to agree! it's very important to learn how to work smart and be street smart. i've seen so many highly-educated people who are such blockheads, i feel like smacking them.

    at the end of the day, we as parents can only do our best to guide them. they have to learn to work for the life they want. just like us!

    you're doing great, babe. hang in there! take a breath when you have to. i believe in 休息是为了走更长远的路. ;)

  3. @lilsnooze - Aiyoh I tell you these kids have all kinds of patterns to push your buttons. 'Sometimes' it's just so trying. But yes... must press on. If not, I cannot imagine who would wanna take over my job. (for no pay somemore)

    @missustay - Agreed la babe. But then with three kids, it's a lil hard to get some rest. They are go go go all the time. Can't wait to get away with the husband. =)

  4. olimomok10:36 PM

    I want to be the kind of super-involved mum that you are with your kids :)

  5. Hats off to you, Pam. Seriously...

    I'm not sure i'd have the patience and energy to be a supermum like you :)

  6. @olimomok - I think you are a super mummy! Your boys are lucky to have you! :)

    @manndy - haha! Babes when are you coming back to be super aunt? Can't wait to see you guys. :)

  7. Hi Pam,

    I agree with you, the grades have little to do, in comparison from what I want from Jess. I want to see that she had tried and that she always strive. Its the 'never giving up' attitude that I admire most. You may come last in the race but the most important thing is that you never give up.

    But. Good grades are evidence of such attitude also... Its so hard to know when to give praise and when not to. For instance Jess has been coming back with scores of 10/12 or 11/12 for her spelling which IS good but I am careful not to overpraise her because I don't want her to feel that its acceptable not to aim for a full 12/12 in spellings, do you know what I mean? Then she'll think, 'ah its ok I have one or two wrong' without REALLY pushing herself.

    I am walking around with so much guilt sometimes its incredible! For all I know, all this effort in trying to give her a better head start in the world as an adult will bite me in the arse when she tells me shes off to join a cult or something!

    But you are doing a fab job AND with 3 kids! I'm moaning about the one! We are always our worse enemy aren't we?

    p.s the kids are looking so grown up and gorgeous as ever. AND you miss... Looking pretty gorgeous yourself! x


  8. You've just spoken my mind, Hun!! End of the day... Our job is to prep them to stand up for themselves in the real world.

    You are doing a great job with miss Jess! Hope things are going great where you are! xx


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