Sunday, April 20, 2008

My heartfelt words

It is 3:03 am.

And I have had one of the biggest arguments of my life.

What has basically transcended is the enstrangement of a parent and the obvious difference in our thinking.

I am sad.

Not because I feel that at twenty six, I am thrown out there in this world as an orphan but because, they have failed to see the concern that we have.

I am not a pompous person. What I have here is what I have worked for, really hard.

When my sister and I was sent to Melbourne to study, we had a paltry allowance and we stayed at a really small studio apartment. In fact, we had to cook most meals at home. And we could barely afford to eat out.

I remember us having to share a meal when everyone around us was having individual portions. And that shopping was a luxury.

Some months, when rent was not sent in time, we used to be really secretive about our route home so that we won't bump into the real estate agent.

Still we made it work and even graduated in good time, with what little that we had.

Since my graduation, I was pretty much told by my mother after she paid for my air ticket, that, "This is the last thing we will pay for. You are on your own when you are back in Australia."

It was Darien who paid for my residency fees and I was left with the task of finding a job. I remembered walking around the city with a few copies of my resumes. Walking into stores, trying to make something happen out of nothing.

I was that desperate.

I could not depend on my then boyfriend, who was a student, to support me.

Thank God, I found a job in two weeks and that was when things started to look up.

When Darien and I found out that I was expecting, we chose to go through the public system so that we did not have to incur any OB/GYN fees.

He was working so hard when Kayden was born. Most times from 7 to 8pm. But no one knew that. Everyone thinks that life is oh so easy down under.

In fact, till now, he still works really hard to make sure that we can have something extra to put away.

We both know the value of hard work. There is not a day, other than my maternity leave, that we both dangled without a job.

So yes, I am not saying that you did not provide for me as a child. In fact, I thought I had a wonderful childhood.

But all I'm saying is, the best solution is to let him work hard for his money. People will only learn from hard work.

I am really upset that the two of you have to work even harder to pay for someone else's mistakes but obviously we both have very different sets of thinking.

I am not going to interfere any longer. In fact, I will retreat to my own space. I think enough has been said.

I just need you to know that I still love him as a sister and that I have no reservations in helping him at all. But I also know that sparing the rod will only spoil the child.

There is a time for loving and there is also a time for discipline. I just hope that you have the discretion to know where the line sits.

That's all.

Your daughter.

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