Thursday, February 28, 2008

All Better

Ok.. so after the last few rather depressive and angry posts, I am glad to say that I am feeling a whole lot better.

I've learnt that I've never felt that broken in my life.

And then the thing I can do whilst feeling so down, was to look up and see the blessings I have around me.

God has been good.

He always sends his angels to look out for me.

See even when I was wallowing in my own self pity, I still kept up my appearances for work, playgroups, lunch dates, parties and walks.

In doing these, I realise that I am seeing parts of my life in the friends that I meet.

I feel the support of my girls. My husband, who when I was so close to giving up, told me that he would do more if needed to make things better.

My kids are obviously very oblivious to my moods cos I am very much just the same old mom to them. But that is the blessing of kids. They laugh to make you smile.

I went for lunch at a hole in the wall place with a friend who was spending her last day here in Melbourne. I shared with her my journey throughout my Aussie life. She recipocrated by telling me about her life stories as well.

One thing she asked, "Do you regret your decisions, ever?"

And I replied without a moment of hesitation, "No. It has always been wonderful treading down this road with the husband who always stands by me."

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Pissed!

People who cannot make up their minds or think that they are way to good for what they do, piss me off.

There.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Down

I hate writing about sad things.

But recent series of events have left a rather big dent in my heart.

And it made me churn out a fair few negative thoughts and circumstances that makes me feel so blue.

Whilst I can understand that we need to make sacrifices for the future and that swallowing the "growing up pill" is essential in this life, I just cannot help but feel really deflated and very very much defeated.

I have always been an optimist. I always believe that God will never give you anything that you can't handle.

But today, I just feel that I have lost that mindset and to a certain extent control over what I would like to be.

This year has been very harsh on the pockets as well as the emotions. It has been very challenging and confrontational.

So much so that I cannot fathom the possibility of a rainbow at the end of this journey.

I told the husband that we are either very brave or very stupid for choosing the journey that we are embarking on this year.

I used to think that we are brave but now I just think that we are very naive in some ways.

The boss said something quite interesting after my PRDP (which went really well) last week. I was just telling him about my plans for the next few months. And he went, "Pammie, you need to slow it down. We are all but human after all."

I really need to see beyond what I am feeling at the moment. And it's hard.

Somehow the heavy feeling in my heart still lingers.

And I'm still sad.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Nothing Beats a Day on the Beach

Jakey chilling on the beach


Well... maybe shopping @ High Street, Armadale. :p (which we gave up for this)

The husband wanted to watch his NBA All Star game today. So I packed the kids up to go to the doggie beach at Port Melbourne, with Dawn. We took the doggies too.

The weather was beautiful and the boys had fun splashing in the water. It was just a perfect way to spend a relaxing day with the kids.

Mr Bob Shady

The grouchy one

Two hats in a row - it took us along time to get them wearing hats

Lil Cookielicious

Big Cookielicious

Tripsing by the water

Saturday, February 16, 2008

A Typical Saturday Morn

We love going to this lil cafe in a hidden nook, somewhere in Richmond.

An outdoor table with heaps of space for the kids to run around.

They have the aussie version of the kaya toast, which is a bowl of cafe latte with caramelized sour dough. The boys love dipping the bread into the coffee.

Bliss.


On the way to brekkie

My lil wounded soldier

Mr Happy Chappy

Still chirpy, despite his injured nose

Drinks Coaxer

One of Us

Friday, February 15, 2008

A lil bloody...

We just got back from playgroup...

where Jakey had his chicken pox immunisation.

He was also the receipient a well intended hug from another kiddo.

After which he accidentally tripped over and hit the wooden beam of the sand pit.

There was A LOT OF BLOOD.

All over my shoulder, my dress, his clothes, his mouth.

The poor boy was crying so hard.

Thank God we acted fast and got the bleeding in control.

I guess it helps that the kind maternal nurse was there.

This lil fella always kenna these funny accidents. No one's fault really.

I still smell of blood.

But at least Jakey's sleeping now.... I told the husband, I think we need to put $ aside for a nose job...

Thursday, February 14, 2008

This Valentine's

Sometimes its the unexpected that takes your breath away ...

We didn't have plans to celebrate today. I think we were both just a lil lazy in doing the whole shebang of searching for a sitter, paying for an overpriced meal and being all dressed up on a weeknight.

(I think we are getting old)

But we ended up having a really nice lunch @ Trotters. Time to read. A lil trip to the stores. All these sans kids cos they were in daycare.

They joined us later when we chanced upon one of our favorite restaurants which was opened specially for tonight. And by gosh! we were lucky to get a table without a reservation. And the best part is the prices were v e r y reasonable. I swear... no set meals gimmick or balloned pricing.

So we left an hour and a half later with happy bellies filled with vino, snapper and desserts. Yumz. In fact, I'm too full to consider sleeping now.

But really despite the commercialism of today... it's really just a reminder that we should love the people around us. Not just during this particular day.

Did I mention I love my husband?

Monday, February 11, 2008

Sometimes all it takes is…

  1. A midnight date of prata and the tarek to talk the troubles of the day away.

  2. A big warm hug to tell you that he will always be there, regardless.

  3. A lil cheeky grin to remind you of their innocence.

  4. A turn of a head to realise that they are indeed growing up.

  5. A phone call to remind you that home is really where the heart is at times.

  6. A kiss to make you feel warm and fuzzy inside.

  7. A big chuckling sound to know they are teasing each other.

  8. Best of all, a slight smile and a knowing look to know that you are loved in every way.

Monday, February 04, 2008

Parenting Gripe

The thing with parenting is… the good comes with the bad.

You see, the boys are at their most active stage to date.

They are very very cute at most times. Imitating the cheeky behavior of the other. Cracking up jokes so that the other would laugh. Ride on the tricyle or cars that they have and chase each other around the house.

Then comes the other side of the fence where they will fight for the same toy. Demand for attention at the same time. Refuse to take naps. Be whingey and whiney about things.

Needless to say, it's a lot of work @ the moment. We are pretty much up to the neck with work, household chores and the kiddos. It's so time consuming and tiring that it's not funny. Arghz...

The husband has a much cooler head when it comes to the kids. Most things don't really faze him.

I, however, am a lil short lately with the lil monkey behavior that happens during the days when I spend time with them. Sometimes I have to punish one to sit in the corner, when the stern warnings don't work. And sometimes they will get a lil whack on the bum.

Anyway to cope with this, we have consciously cut down on all the unneccessary sugar intake those kiddos inhale daily. Shorten the TV time.

And then he suggested that I get some time out from the kids during the week. Like take up tennis again AND/OR do yoga.

Which I'm working in my head… how am I going to slot the time into my week. But I guess I will have to, considering that the man goes and play in two basketball leagues during the week.

Maybe it's just time to do something for me!

Friday, February 01, 2008

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