I wish!
I wish.... - that I can live freely again
- that I can travel the world
- that I do not have to think as much
- that I am not feeling as jaded as I currently do
- that I can love my job for now
- that I would not rant at him as much
- that he can spend more time with me
- that he can read my mind
- that I was not so mean
- that I can adore him as much as I used to
- that I can be carefree again
- that I can enjoy friends' company again
- that I am not depressed
- that I would try to leave my emotions behind
- that I can finally smile and laugh as I used to
Clearer Thinking - Happy Days
After a couple of confusing days, I had a rather peaceful one yesterday. I have sorted out my thoughts and am looking forward to reading up so that I can gather info about the decisions ahead. Hopefully it would not be a regrettable one but after taking that bath that nite and having a good nite's rest. I wokr up feeling afreshed yesterday.It has been a rational two days and I am no longer hysterical or disillusional. In fact, I thank God for what has happened and I would proceed to work this out.Watched Constantine today and it absolutely blew my mind away. It made me realize how horrid Hell can be if we were to pass over one day. Makes me guilty abt not making a serious effort to attend church and listen to God's voice daily. Makes me want to run back to His comforting arms.The interview went pretty fine today. Got no clear indication about how it would turn out but I am taking things in my stride now as I know what my future holds for me. It is back to the sunny island soon and until then, I am looking forward to making the most of my time here.
What If
What if:- I could never be the best that I want to be
- This is my only chance to be a career oriented person
- I give it all up for what's happening right now
- I blame myself for the regrettable decision that I could possibly make
- It would haunt me if I f**k it up
- I do not bother about what others think
- This is the most important decision in my life
Tick Tock!
It has been 4 days since we got back from singapore and yet my body clock has yet to adjust back to melbourne time. So we have been sleeping till 12 noon everyday. sighz. Lazy bones, I know... Anyway it hasn't all been bad news since I got back. Like I mentioned in my last post that my boss got a promotion. On Friday, she mentioned to me that there are four positions for AEs down @ Level 3 and suggested that I shld apply for the job, if I am interested. Now that is totally awesome. It has always been a desire to climb the corporate ladder. And I know that the next three years are important for my development. I would expect nothing but the best from myself so that I can be somewhere when I move back to Singapore. So time is truly running out as I need to finish my cover letter by tonight... Wish me all the best!
I am back @ Melbourne now. Sitting @ my desk... Catching up on the office goss as well as my work. Realized that I've got $45k of sales on the board when I was gone. So this is looking rather good. A BIG Thanks to Alan who covered my duties when I was away.
If you had no clue, I was back in Singland for the last three weeks. Spent most of my time there while I had short visits to HK, M'sia and Shenzhen. It was a blast.
I could not adapt to the weather initially. So so warm & humid. But things got better towards the end of the stay. At least I had a car at my disposal for driving so it was rather convenient in my point of view to move around. But most of the time, I was taking the MRT around or waiting for Darien to pick me up.
Met up with some friends this trip. Most people had a pretty interesting 2004 and the start of 2005. It seems like a lot of decisions are being made at this point in time. People moving overseas. People breaking up. People getting pregnant. And People getting engaged or married. It is truly the age where life changing decisions are part of their lives now.
The trip back this time round has got more gravity than just vacationing. The bf had some biz in mind and it seems like he might wanna move towards it. There is a rather lucrative job offer for him and he has made a decision. He has been talkin about moving back in the next couple of years. I am not really sure how it's going to turn out but I would be praying for everything to be going smoothly and peacefully.
Anyway, I found out that Kate, my boss, is moving on to a different position in Telstra. Good on her!
Sing Land
Been a looong while since I've logged on, man! Sweet relief to get close to a computer and BROADBAND!!! (I'm such a hopeless addict, I know)
Finally back home in S'pore. Left @ the end of Jan with Darien to fly back home. Left the puppy with a gf for the period that we would be back here. Last that I heard, he was having a ball of a time. Sighz.
Hopped to HK two days after we arrived back home and I absolutely lurved it! It is so livable but you HAVE to be able to speak their Canton language. Went fanatically shoe shopping. It had to be the most awesome thing to do there. Prices were unbeliveable. Yum Cha was yummy too! ha!
Got a chance to spend some time with the folks back home. Feels so good to be back home. No need to do your own laundry or cook your own dinner. Furthermore, Dad's passed his lau pok car to me for my disposal (which of course, comes along with Ah Mat duties) But it's been good so far.
The loved one is in Melacca now. Hope he's enjoying himself! Till then... Happy New Year.
